What an akward word are you...
Do you even exist...
It seems man may have made you up...
Just to get us pissed.
Life goes on and goes so fast...
Never stopping to breathe...
We turn around and soon realize that...
We're better off to leave.
Happiness is hard to grasp...
And love seems farther still...
What once was hidden by our clouds...
Is often times revealed.
Is life worth the pain and tears...
that fall and wash the truth...
Lingering, hanging, clasping on...
To something we'll soon lose.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Posted by April at 4:31 AM
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Posted by April at 2:25 AM
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Posted by April at 1:07 AM
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I have to say that I feel sorry for only children. No, really, I do. There was a time in my life when I wished every night that I was an only child, but looking back I realize how boring things would have been.
We have so many memories and stories that we can re-hash and laugh for hours about. Little inside jokes that only us and our close friends understand make me smile at the oddest times. My sisters have such a special place in my heart that no one could ever get into.
She is only 16 months younger than me and we grew up fighting like crazy, because we were so close in age. Amy is the one who is fun to pick on. Yeah, there has to be one in the group. She's it. She is the one who's gullible thinking kept us in stitches lots of times. She is also the one who is the penny-pincher. She can budget and is financially better off than the rest of us. She's a hard worker, never has a hair out of place, and is beautiful. I would have beat the crap out of anyone who ever did anything to her in school even though I constantly picked on her myself. She is the clean one. She and I couldn't share a room, because I was "too messy," according to her. To get back at her for this I wrote an essay at school about how messy she was and how gross her room was and read it to the entire class even though it pretty much described my room- ha ha. She was so mad at me. It was her fault that I had my first wreck- she wanted to wave at some guys. Long story, but it was her fault. She claimed that I ran over her foot once. That one is a lie. She once hit me in the face with a 2x4 and bloodied my nose over some baby sitting money. I beat her up too many times to list. We played softball together and had the same group of friends. We went on youth group trips together and have a lot of memories. I don't get to see her much, but I do love her!
Ashley is 4 years younger than me and we have been really close. She was my maid-of-honor in both of my weddings- ha ha. She and I shared a room after Amy split and went to dino-world with Alicia. Ashley and I concocted a lot of things. We started a news program called "Starnes Ridge News" that we would all tape together. Ashley was the newscaster, though. I only remember fighting with her physically once and she did say "bring it," so, I did. When she'd get mad at me she'd try to take it out on my bear-Teddy. And when I was mad at her I'd get her monkey- Montgomery. We saw ghosts together, had near misses with trains, worked almost every job together, and have talked for endless hours. Ashley is the Princess. She even has it on the back of her car window. She loves pink, big purses, and is girly as girly can be. She has listened to me cry a hundred times (probably more than that) and I've always tried to be there for her. She is so funny and can crack one liners as quick as you can blink. She is a May and has my dad's humor. She is always late where ever she goes and gets mad if you point it out. She is beautiful and her and Amy are often "mixed up." We have toooooo many memories that they wouldn't all fit here if I wrote all day. So, anyway, I love her, too.
I was 6 when Alicia was born and I cried. I wanted a brother so bad. I already had 2 sisters and didn't really see the need for another one of those. She is quick-witted like Ashley. She also tells you what she thinks. She can be "mean" and we often accuse her of being bi-polar. She is gorgeous and looks a lot like my dad. People say that we look alike, but trust me, she is much prettier!! Anyway, Alicia tries to be a BAMF, but is really soft-hearted. When my first husband left she was right there beside me all of the way. She took pills out of my hand and moved in with me to keep me company. I have always made fun of her and told her that she was adopted and that her true parents were lesbian African women. She used to cry when I'd say this. Mom would get soooo mad at me for it! She was terrified of everything, but that was probably because I was constantly scaring her. She slept on the couch most of her life to avoid windows. Trolls were to blame for this- don't ask. I once threatened to drop a hair dryer in the bathtub with her dangling it above her- she screamed- dad yelled "what's going on in there"- I said "She won't use the white rain shampoo"- he said "use it and get outta there." He would have killed me if he'd known the truth. I would have killed her if she'd told. I tied her to the porch with pantyhose and put "for sale" signs on her. I locked her in a room and made her listen to a Roger Miller CD for hours trying to guess the titles of all the songs for punishment. I think she still loves "Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug." I was mean to her and that is probably why she is so mean now, but that's what sisters are for!! I love this "little kid" who is actually 21 now.
My sisters have always been there when I've needed them and I will always be there for them. We have done crazy things, fun things, and been through some not-so-fun things together. When we come together it's like we've never been apart. When mom had her heart attack and we all met at the hospital it was like my whole world was in that little space. I can't imagine living without them and am glad that I am the oldest, because there is a better chance of me going first!! I know that I have drove them nuts with my "big sister" advice over the years and bossiness and just plain hatefulness at times. I'm sure they've wanted to kill me as many times as I've wanted to kill them. The thing is, though, that I never could hurt them- really hurt them. I love them too much... way too much!!! They will always be my best friends and I will always trust them more than anyone. We have the same DNA... well, except Alicia - her's is African lesbian-LOL.
I love you guys!!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Well, 10 years ago to this date, I was faced with a huge decision. I had to choose whether to start dating a guy that I thought was cute in English class or my bestest friend in the world who traveled hundreds of miles to be my prom date. Well, I chose wrong on that day. Boy, did I ever. Let's just say that flowers, special little songs, opening car doors, and all that jazz don't compare with someone who will still be your friend after all of these years. Someone who will still call on your birthday and visits you at least once every year-- no matter how many states away. Someone who will never forget you, even though you may have hurt them in the past. So... that being said... for all you young-uns out there. Maybe the guy isn't the most charming. Maybe he only knows about working on cars and wouldn't be caught dead in anything but jeans. Maybe his way of saying he cares is teaching you how to drive a stick-shift, but maybe he could be the right one.
The problem with a charmer is that he'll charm everyone and in the end you just end up being a fool that was snake charmed.
Please choose wisely, because a lifetime of regret could be your destiny.
Melissa is a lucky lady ;-)