Sunday, January 11, 2009

New goals... or maybe they're resolutions... or maybe they're unreachable... or not.

Well... I don't think I have done a very successful job of keeping with my goals... so I am re-organizing. Setting ones that are a little more important, a little more attainable, and a little more easier to remember to do.

Goal #1
I will strive to rid my life of unneccesary worry and stress. This means NOT seeing issues where there really aren't. This means letting others worry about their own problems. This means trying to not lay awake at night with knots in my stomach over something that cannot be changed.

Goal #2
It's time to get healthy. Yes, healthy. I have to stop crying around about the way I look while continuing to suck down the mountain dew and tear open the chip bags. I need to find a way, a time, to exercise. I want to be healthy and I want to be pretty and desirable. In order be this, then I have to be willing to do something about it.

Goal #3
I will read one book a week. It's time that I admit that I LOVE reading. I love it. A good book seems to keep me balanced in such a hectic life. I need to make time for this passion. When I have down time I need to take advantage of reading instead of surfing the web or starring at the wall. It seems as if I am happier when I am into a good book.

Goal #4

I will be a better Christian. I will read my Bible more, pray, and really try to connect with God. I will not let others bring me down and I will not fall back on my past behaviors. I will try to save others through example. I will show Christ's love through my actions and words.

Goal #5
I am going to do my best to be more open-minded and less judgmental. This may be really hard, because my big issue with people is those who appear to be users and try to change the morality of others. It bothers me to see someone who used to be such a "good" person totally change from the influence of others. And then I start to really dislike those "others" without even knowing them. I'm going to try to do better.

Goal #6
I will keep up to date on my homework for school. So far I've had a 4.0 all the way through Ivy Tech. That's good, but I find myself cramming in work at the very last second that it's due- not so cool. Anyway, I will definitely keep up on this. I have to.

Goal #7
I will give my husband more space. I tend to be overbearing and want to be with him all the time. I know that this isn't healthy. I am afraid that if I don't have his attention all the time, then he'll one day forget about me and never come back home. Don't laugh- it's happened before. My paranoia is going to be the end of me if I don't get it under control.

Goal #8
I will be a better budgeteer. Is that even a word?? Anyway, I will pay my bills on time and keep up to date with them. Squandering is out! Saving is in! All hail frugelness! Again, is that a word?

Goal #9
My home will be clean. Yes, clean. Laundry done and put away. Dishes not on the counters or in the sink. Floors mopped and swept. Heck, I may even make the bed. Who knows?!? I plan on moving soon and my new place will be treated a lot better than the one that I now have.


Goal #10
I plan to live life day by day. Sounds easy... but it really isn't. I need to live each day knowing that God is with me and that whatever tomorrow brings that I can handle it. I need to remember that worrying and fretting doesn't do any good. I need to live in the moment, because there may not be a tomorrow. There is no guarantee. I will call my parents and grandparents often. I will plan things with my sisters and Courtney and Pam and Amanda and whoever else that I have neglected lately. I will try to be the me that somewhere got lost in the past two and a half years. I miss the old April. I miss being independent and funny. I miss making people smile and laugh. I miss loving and being loved. It's time that I got over myself and my pity and my sorrow and start living again. Screw those who kicked me when I was down. Screw those who left me behind for their own gain. Screw those who broke promises, lied, or used me. I am done wasting hate on them. I am finished with that part of history. Now there is only today, because I know as well as anyone, that things can change in an instant--- that is why I am choosing to live in the moment.