Sunday, November 30, 2008

Update on my List...

Ok. I am still working on those first 10 things, but I have accomplished some of them!! I will give myself until Tuesday to finish them. That is it! Then, I will add a few more to the list. I will say that I am almost finished with ALL of my online work that is due (it should all be done by morning), I have been doing my hair & make-up, I took down those political yard signs, and I think that I took a sip of water sometime since I wrote that blog. I'm a failure!

Friday, November 28, 2008

And another thing...

Sometimes it fathoms me how some people will act in public. This time of year is crucial, people. The malls are packed, the lines are long, and the air space is minimal.

That being said...

The other night I decided to go to the mall and gaze at some jeans that I may or may not receive for my birthday (uh hum). Anyway, while doing this, I obviously tired myself out and was famished! I went to Luca Pizza, stood behind a mother and her three obnoxious children dressed in Christmasy outfits (obviously had just gotten their picture taken), ordered some very over-priced food, grabbed my tray, and scoured out the table furthest from anyother soul in the room. Well... alas... here comes along 3 guys, middle-aged and they choose a table two over from mine. Fine. I can handle that. Even though there are only about 23 other tables that could have fit their needs! Then out of no where I heard this foghorn sound louder than most tornado sirens. I glance at the bald man of the group. He is sitting there, in the food court, blowing his nose!! Loud. Very loud. With chick-fillet napkins and all! Why?? There went my $10 tray. I just can't eat after seeing and hearing that spectacle. There is a ton of space surrounding the food court. Could he not go away from earshot and blow?

I know this is a random post, but I've been bothered by it ever since. Courtesy does magical things! Manners are amazing! And not fog-horning your nose in a public eating establishment is a jewel!

Ramblings offered at no cost to you by....


The first 10.

Today is the day. The first day of my list of all lists. Well... the LOAL isn't even completed yet, but here are the first 10 items that I will be working on...

1. Get ALL of my work turned in for my online class by Sunday. BAH

2. Start doing my flippin hair and make-up daily! Who knows when I may run into John Travolta or Billy Ray??

3. Start drinking water or at least diet drinks! Today!

4. Get the majority of my house cleaned by Sunday night.

5. Take the political yard signs down out of the yard! Seriously, now!

6. Buy at least two Christmas gifts for someone this weekend (even if they're small!)

7. Begin my Bible Reading Every day-- no matter what!!

8. Clean out my purse & packback. Eliminate weight!!

9. Put up my Christmas tree and decorations this weekend.

10. Wrap those 2 gifts that I will definitely get!

Now. If I just add another 10 every few days, then maybe I can hold myself accountable for these things that I often let myself fall behind on. Hmmm.... worth a shot!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Day of Thanks

I'm almost positive that today is supposed to be one of those days that we all bow our heads and say, "thank you so much for the many blessings that have been bestowed on mine and ours this wondrous year." Yeah, pretty sure that's how it's supposed to go.

My thanksgiving.

Thus far?

It started at midnight. It consisted of cooking 8 turkey breasts, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, and greenbean casserole. Ok. Brian & Carla helped A LOT! So... finishing that at around 5:30 this morning. Here is how it goes from here...

Well... Josh and I will be apart. Imagine that! He works in Terre Haute today so it only makes since that he'll have his turkey and dressing with his blood there. I'll be hitching a ride with Alicia to another Papaw-less Thanksgiving for the second year in a row. Eat, chat, buh bye, visit the nursing home, and then home to sleep, do laundry, and watch Tropic Thunder. It better be good. Anyway... following that... it's off for another midnight to eight to freeze and catch up on my Steve Wilkos drama. Please don't be too jealous... it makes me feel awful guilty!

On the upside.

VH1 is currently enticing me with KidRock. Sexy beast! Now I just need to see the new P!nk video that has her HOT ex-hubby in it & my morning is complete! Well, except for the whole still not asleep thing!

The clients will hopefully be sleeping in for a very loooong time this morning. What does that mean for me? No drama, no point giving, and not annoyance! Yay!

I totally got a B+ on my latest sociology test. I demand applause. That class is so hard! I did find that studying seems to work wonders in the grading world, though.

My spinach and avacado dip was on sale this week and I picked some up and it is so refreshingly delicious!

It is one more T-day that I don't have to hear the word oyster stuffing. Ha.

So... I guess there are a few things to be thankful for on this FRIGID morning!

~I've had some depressing days of late and I think that there is a to-do list to be started soon. Very soon! In the coming days I will be making a list of all the things that I need or want to accomplish in my life to start being a little more happier.

Catch you on the flip side! Ahoy!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Days of old

It seems ultimately I have found myself in another bad place in life. When will I tire of being jerked and kicked around by others? I need to find myself out there somewhere. I used to be an advocate for...

gay rights
women's choice referring to abortion (with a few exceptions)
and equality of and for all

Ok, damn it. Seriously. Here I sit now, in all reality less religious than I was at that point in life, and finding myself questioning these issues. Why?

Brainwashing does exist. It does. The question is what is giving my "free thinking" brain a good scrubbing? Am I right? Am I wrong? Is the scrubber right? Is the scrubber wrong?

I am more confused right now than I have ever been in my entire life!!

Oh, how I miss Sesame Street and the only issue to ponder was whether or not Mom was going to fix tator tots or french fries for lunch!!

Those were the days....

Sunday, November 23, 2008

One more day...

I have been thinking lately how somewhere along this path in life that I have lost myself. Pretty much all of me-- my thoughts, opinions, courage, and self-worth. I used to possess those. Where did they go? Where did I go? I let people's thoughts and words and actions eat away at me and force me into this dark hole. It's truly pitch black in here and after being alone for so long -- it's unbearably lonely. This past week a young lady jumped off of the parking garage a block from my work. She was only 20 years old. Her myspace and facebook pages screamed depression and suicidal thoughts. Why didn't anyone tell her that they loved her-- it'll be okay-- please don't leave us?? Maybe they did and she just didn't hear it or worse- didn't believe it. I used to wonder how or why someone could take their own life. Not anymore. I do believe in Heaven and Hell and God and Satan, so it's not really and option. I can understand; however, how someone who didn't know about God would go ahead with it. I know for a fact that there is such a thing as Hell on this earth, but the scary part is that beyond this the actual Hell could be so much more horrible. I truly hope not -- for their souls. Sometimes this life can be so exhausting and depressing. People who are supposed to love you-- don't really. I know it-- they know it. What's the point? The only person that I can rely on is myself, but I don't even trust me sometimes. I think that I am just venting here, but am I? I don't know. I am not planning on harming myself! I am just saying that I can understand how someone can be so physically, mentally, emotionally depleted that they think that suicide is the only escape. For some it may be. I don't know.

Friday, November 21, 2008

November Rain...

It has been quite some time since I've decided to blog my little life to you all. I don't really understand why, though. I do love to write and with so many changes in the past few months I am appalled at my lack of pushing my life off on to you all. I mean, seriously, how else are my stalkers going to know what I am doing and where I am at?

No more Mr. Polo. Although, I have heard that he is still sporting his baby blue polo-- nipples protruding through the stretched fabric-- hunched backed and still barking orders to all the "little people" at the nursing home. I swear. This man should be cattle-prodded!!


I am now working for Centerstone as a Behavioral Health Tech. I am holding down the fort from midnight to 8. Watching over the men and women who are in the recovery house with me. I do have to say though, there is nothing on t.v. this late at night. I can only watch so many Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episodes before I am ready to bust the television. Maybe I should start bringing movies with me?

This semester I am taking sociology and intro to human services. School is getting harder. I can't believe how much of a slacker that I've been this semester!! It's horrible! Anyway, I am going to keep trudging along and getting a human services associate degree. I think that I am going to try for 3 concentrations: mental health, substance abuse, and correctional rehabilitation. Then... it's off to the university!

As far as my life goes-- it is still unbearable most days!! I tend to have this depression and sadness and really don't understand all of it. I'm sure that having your heart ripped out in life could contribute, but I'm pretty sure that I am over that one, anyway. It's crazy. Happiness... where are you?? I am pretty sure that as soon as I find a church and a church family who truly loves the Lord and me that I will be happier. Or maybe there isn't really a thing called happiness!?!

Sorry this post is so long!
The plan is to try to start doing me some daily blogging!
We'll see!