Saturday, June 21, 2008

Just Thinking


I just watched the movie Charlie Bartlett. It really made me want to take some ritalin, but anywho, it also made me really think about how sometimes I feel like I am all alone in this world and that no one could possibly understand my life BUT in all actuality almost everyone is in the same boat as me. I'm not going to lie. I sometimes mask my depression. I really think that one day I am just going to wake up and it's going to be gone. No more sadness. Wouldn't that be fantastical? I'm getting better, don't get me wrong here. I have made some good choices as of late. For instance-- I am back in school. It's kind of hard for me which is so very weird. I was always the one who could get an A without even studying, but it's been awhile since I had to sit in an uncomfortable chair for hours and listen to a teacher and such. I do have to admit that the psychology professor that I have is pretty awesome. I can't believe that I am 27 years old and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I really thought that I wanted to be a mortician. Seriously. BUT everyday I am faced with the fact that drug abuse is so rampant that I am considering being an alcohol and drug addictions counselor. I really want to help those who come to me already for advice and pleading eyes, but I just don't know the right words to say or the right things to do. I have seen what evil that drugs can do to a person. How they can make them do things that they would never have done before the addiction. I just want to help them! I also think it would be an amazing opportunity to be a psychologist to prisoners on death row. To be the one that helps them deal with their fate. To be the one that helps them put the puzzle of their mind together so they at least know why them did what they did. No one is born wanting to kill or rape or do whatever else you have to do to die in the chair or by lethal injection, but there is a reason why they do choose those lives. By the way, before anyone hatefully messages me, I want to make it known that I am anti-death penalty. Yes, you can be a republican and hold this stance. I am not about killing anyone. How terrible to know the moment that you are going to die-- no matter who you are. Well... I have some thinking to do and I'm sure if you are still with me then you are getting tired of reading my scribbling!


BTW if you are wondering-- I still hate Mr. Polo with an unimaginable passion.