Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Kinda pissed...

Another day & another, yes another, Paul Poteet tie!

Here's something about me that you may/may not know. I enjoy writing. I write a lot. I love this blog because it gives me the freedom to write about mundane things that may not matter to most. I love to be able to just write for the sake of writing. If you don't like it, then you don't have to read it. If what I write bothers you, then don't read it. You know?!? Well... here I go. I'm going to rant...

Yesterday I received a message out of the blue saying "sorry about ." This message was from my ex-husband. I don't call him a friend. I don't call him anything. I try to not think about that life with him. So... WHY would he think that it is okay to comment on an issue in my life that is obviously reserved for those people who are close to me?!? The only reason that I can think of is to twist the knife a little bit more. I know, I know... I could be wrong. He could just be such a caring individual that he felt the need to reach out and show that he "cares." I call BS on this one. I know him and I know that he doesn't give a crap about me or my life unless it makes his look better. I find it disheartening that he is able to know soooo much about my life. I'm sure it's my fault. I'm sure that I shouldn't write a blog or have a facebook or even talk to people that we both know. I'm sure that it is my fault as most things that ever involved us BOTH were. The hurt that goes along with this whole situation is one that I've tried to long forget. I've tried to cut off those ties. I even gave him MY dog so that he didn't have any reason to "come around." I'm not going to lie. This was hard, but I knew that it had to be done. If I see ANY member of his family or ANY of his friends, then I go the opposite way. I'm done with that part of my life. I'm not saying that I don't like his family or friends, but it is not my place to invade his life. It killed me to not go to the funeral home when his grandma died (I really loved that lady), but I didn't because it wouldn't have been fair to him or his new life. I was ashamed that I didn't pay my respects, but... it was out of respect for him and to not make the day about anything other than her memory. Period. I don't like the uncomfortable "small talk" that goes along with running into someone in his life. And I especially don't like the gossipy, nosy talk that goes on behind my back. I know that this happens... there is NO WAY THAT HE READS THE PUBLIC NOTICES IN THE HERALD TIMES WHEN HE DOESN'T EVEN LIVE IN THIS STATE!! I'm not stupid. I know that he is kept well-informed by his family & friends. So glad... but just so you know when someone in my family even mentions his name or something they heard or somewhere that they saw him I say "Stop. I don't give a f-!!" And I mean it!!

Sorry that you all had to sit through that, but I just had to get it off my shoulders.

Oh. BTW "Whoa Nelly" has been my line for about 13 YEARS, cowboy!!